[A
long summary of “Understanding God’s Will,” (Question 9), from https://sweetlybrokengirl.blogspot.com.]
“‘Have faith in
God,’ Jesus answered. ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this
mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart
but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have
received it, and it will be yours.’” (Mark 11:22-24)
I have to be honest. I struggle with this verse more than any
other. I really do. I mean, it sounds pretty straightforward to me:
believe that you’ll get what you ask for and you’ll get it. Name it and
claim it! Sounds great!
But there’s a problem.
It doesn’t always happen. There are many things that we pray for and that
we are confident are in line with God’s Will, and yet they don’t happen.
The mountains didn’t move.
How come some prayers don’t seem to work, even when you believe that it’s God’s
Will? And how long do you keep praying for something (especially when
it’s a painful issue) when God seems to not be listening or answering?
Sometimes, I want something so badly (even something that’s good and
beneficial), and I pray earnestly for it. And when it doesn’t happen, I
struggle with why my prayers aren’t getting things done.
When we were considering a possible adoption (a relative was thinking about
giving up their newborn), I was reading a book that basically taught the “name
it and claim it” idea. And it told me that if I felt like I could “hear”
God’s answer in prayer, then I just had to claim it and cling to it in faith,
until it happened. Despite any appearances to the contrary. If I
had enough faith to continue to cling to His “promise,” it would happen
eventually. And if it didn’t happen, it’s because I gave up too early or
because I doubted.
Well, of course, I believed that it would happen. And so, as the book
encouraged, I believed that God had already “given” her to us. And all I
had to do now was thank Him for it (as proof that I believed) and to wait for
it to happen.
But … it never happen.
So what went wrong? Was it my faith, God, or my understanding of
God? Or will it still happen sometime in the future, as the book would
say, even though it’s over ten years later now?
I tell ya, it’s that verse that confuses me most. I truly believed it was
God’s Will. All the ducks were lining up in a nice, neat row. And
so I prayed for it and thanked Him for it and waited patiently for it.
And . . . it never happened. And it just confused me even more.
[And for the record, I don’t want it
to happen now. She’s with her parents and that’s fine. Except for the fact that they are a violent
couple - volatile and just plain terrible together. But apparently from what I heard just a month
ago, had we adopted her, we would probably have ended up with her maternal
grandfather getting involved in our lives … and from what I heard, he’s a
retired mobster-type guy who’s admitted to “doing some very bad things,” even
recently offering to “take care of someone” who was bothering a relative of
mine. Yeah, I think God knew what He was
doing when He kept us from getting involved with that family. I thank Him now that it never happened. He can see the big picture when I can’t and
be trusted to lead us on the right path for us.]
How do mountains move? When? How much faith is needed? And
what is faith really?
Is it “faith that God will do it” or “faith in Him even if He doesn’t do
it”? But if you leave open the possibility that He might not do it (such
as saying, “If it be Your Will”) then can you ever say that you don’t have any
doubt in your heart and that you really believe He’ll do it like Mark 11:22-24 says? If I was able
to push away all anxiety or doubt and to calmly say, “I know You can do it,
Lord. I trust You,” would it please God enough that He would grant my request?
Or would that be presumptuousness about His plans? And would He really
hold it against me if I waited faithfully for 30 days, but then I faltered and
lost faith on day 31? Will that faltering cancel out the previous
faithful trust? What does faltering in our
faith look like? Is it about our
feeling, about “being anxious,” … or is it about our actions, about “being
disobedient”?
Can any of us ever move any mountain, or even a molehill, with our prayers if
we have to believe ahead of time that it will happen, without any
doubts? Is it possible to know for sure what God should do and that He
will do it, when we know that God has His own mysterious ways about why and
when and how He answers prayer? Is knowing that He can do
something as faithfully-effective as claiming that He will do it?
Or do we have to “claim” that it will happen without any confirmation
and risk looking like a fool who went out on a limb and put words in God’s
mouth? Is it “believing what we say” or “saying what we believe” that
makes it happen?
I tell ya, this one confuses
me. It really does. And I have way more questions about it than
answers. I guess I wouldn’t struggle so much if so many important prayers
hadn’t gone “unanswered,” even when I really thought it was God’s Will.
My aunt and mother-in-law still died of cancer. The adoption never
happened. Certain relationships never panned out. Dreams and great
efforts have failed. This house never did get fixed up yet.
There have been so many times that I have prayed for things that haven’t
happened. (And yet, I do have to thank God for all the answers He has
given over the years. Many, many answers.) And I’m guessing that
the “name it and claim it” pushers would say that it was the strength of my
faith that was the problem - that I didn’t really believe it enough. Or
that the time hasn’t yet come.
And I don’t know, maybe at times it was my faith. Maybe I cannot really
“claim” anything in faith because I’m so afraid of looking foolish if it
doesn’t happen. I don’t want to put words in God’s mouth and run around
saying “God told me . . .” or “This will happen because I believe it
will.” And then, when it doesn’t happen, become an embarrassment to God
and our faith. So I guess there is always a bit of doubt in the back of
my mind.
I know that He can do it, if
He chooses. I just can’t presumptuously claim that I know for sure that
He will do it. Is that still okay? Is that still being
faithful?
It’s comforting, in a way, to know that even Paul didn’t get the thorn removed
from his side by his prayers. And I don’t think anyone would question the
strength of his faith.
And Moses –who was favored by God -
asked God to let him into the Promised Land after he was banned from it, and
God said “No.” Actually, what He said was, “That
is enough. Do not speak to me anymore about this matter.” (Deut. 3:26) Ouch!
David’s baby still died, even though
he prayed earnestly that it would live, refusing even to eat for a week while
he pleaded with God.
And of course, even Jesus didn’t get
the cup taken away from Him after earnestly praying for it.
And for them, it wasn’t about their
faith, it was simply that it wasn’t God’s Will. God did answer their
prayers. He said, “No.”
Have
Faith in God
As I think back on things that I have prayed for that haven’t happened, I have
had to reevaluate how I understand the Mark
11:22-24 verses. Let me see if I can best explain them, in light of
the fact that there are times that we don’t get what we ask for, even if we
feel our faith is solid. And for the record, I still have way more
questions than answers.
I think this verse is best understood when we bring it all back to the
beginning of what Jesus says - when we look at what it all hinges on. And
Jesus sets up those verses with this: “Have faith in God.”
Our problem (at least, my problem) is not with how much faith we have,
but with what we set it on. And according to the “name it and claim it”
version of Mark 11:22-24, it’s our
level of faith and the absence of doubt that will make whatever we say
happen. But is that the right interpretation? Is that what faith is
- believing that we know what the answer should be and claiming it?
Of course, I would love to be so in line with God that I could be bold and
discerning in knowing exactly what to pray for - so that it gets answered.
But I am apparently not there yet. I keep trying, though. I really
do. I pray for something entirely appropriate (in my view), and I am
confident and calm because I know that He can do it. And I believe that
what I am asking is His Will, so He has to do it, right? And I feel like
a wise, effective prayer-warrior.
And then I wait and I wait and I wait. And I remind Him that I am hanging
in there because I have faith in Him to come through for me. I let Him
know that I believe that He is a big God who can answer my prayer with one
touch of His heavenly finger. And I feel like a tired, but persistent,
prayer-warrior.
And then I wait and I wait and I wait. And after awhile, I get depressed
and I doubt and I wonder why He won’t just do this one thing that would be so
simple for Him to do. Does He not get involved in this world like He used
to in Bible Times? Has He just set the world in motion and then sat back
and watched? Where is He and how much more do I have to do to demonstrate
my faith in Him to do it? And faith? What is faith anyway?
And what does Mark 11 mean if we
don’t get what we ask for? And then I feel like a discouraged and
defective prayer-worrier.
If we look at these Mark verses as a “name it and claim it” passage, we will
think that our faith should “get it done.” And if it doesn’t, we get
discouraged. We get tempted to bail on God. We criticize ourselves
for our “weak” faith and question His “God-ness.” And our “understanding”
of God and His Word are blown out of the water.
All because things didn’t happen the way we thought they would.
And I think that God allows this discouragement, helplessness, and futility so
that our misunderstanding of God is blown to pieces. So that we
can learn more about who He really is and who we really are. So that we
learn that it’s not about us, it’s all about Him! That He is God and we
are not! That His plans are not our plans. That He is in control and we are not. That it doesn’t all hinge on us; it hinges on
Him. And instead of turning away in our
discouragement, we should dig deeper into the Word to learn more about Him,
about who we really are, and about what He has to say to us.
The thing is, we want to lead and have control by our prayers. We want our faith to “make things happen.” We use it to manipulate God to give us what
we want.
Whereas true faith in God says,
“Whatever happens, I still believe in You. And I will follow where You
lead.”
I have come to realize that, at times, what I am really trying to do when I
believe that my “strong faith” will make things happen is to manipulate God to
do what I am asking. I am saying, “See how much I believe in You to do
this? So now You can’t let me down.” I am putting my faith in the
strength of my faith to get God to do what I want, instead of putting my faith
in God to lead me to do what He wants. Does that make sense?
But this is not having “faith in God,” as Jesus says. It’s faith in my
faith. It’s faith in myself to get something accomplished - based on what
I do or don’t do, or believe or don’t believe. And this is misplaced
faith!
“Name it and claim it by the
strength of your faith” is not a godly way. It’s a
spiritual-sounding, super-subtle way of elevating ourselves over God, of
turning God into our errand boy. We act like we are in control and that
we get it done - by our prayers, beliefs, and level of faith.
But God is so much bigger than
that. And Jesus says, “Have faith in God!”
When a lake freezes in the winter, how do you know that it’s strong enough to
hold you? You could stand at the edge and do all sorts of tests to
determine if it’s safe, but you won’t know for sure until you step out in
faith.
And the thing is, it doesn’t matter how much faith you have. If the ice
is not thick enough, no matter how much faith you have in it, it will not hold
you up. But a frozen lake will. When the timing and conditions are
right, it will hold you up, regardless of your level of faith in it.
Well, God is like that
lake. When the timing is right and it’s His Will, you can take a step
forward and know that He will hold you up, that He will grant your
request. But if it’s not the right time or the right step to take, He
will not make the steps you take secure or grant your request, no matter how
much you thought He would or wanted Him to.
It’s not about your level of faith;
it’s about what you’re putting it on. Are you putting it on your own
presumptuousness about how God should answer your prayers or are you putting it
on God and His wisdom, strength, and timing?
Well, I’m learning that I need to focus less on my faith and if it’s “strong
enough” and more on the God who is in control. Less on the answer that I
want and more on what God is trying to accomplish and to teach me through the
trial.
We say, “I have faith in You that You can do what I am asking You to do.”
But God might
just be saying, “Yes, but will you still have faith in Me if I don’t do
what you’re asking Me to do?”
Genuine faith in God is not necessarily one that says, “I asked for this and I
believe You can do it, so I’m claiming in faith that You’ll do it.”
That’s presumption about what God wants and about how He should answer. A genuine faith in God isn’t one based on
what kind of answers we get.
Genuine faith says, “I can’t see
what’s ahead and I may not get what I want, but I still believe in You. I
believe that You can do what I am asking; but if You don’t, I know that
You are good and that You will work all things out for good. You are God
and I am not!” That is putting our faith in God. That’s humility.
It’s letting God be God, while we are the children at His feet. We can
ask, but we have to let Him decide how to answer. We can desire and plan,
but we have to be willing to let Him interrupt and change our desires and
plans. And when He wills that a mountain moves, it will move when we
pray. But in His time and in His way!
It’s not that the strength of our faith gets our prayers answered the way we
want; it’s that our prayers get answered the way God wants when we put our
tiny, weak faith squarely on Him and His glory.
And many times, that means that He
has to change and mold our prayers to be in line with His Will as we struggle
with the wait and the “lack of answer.”
Our hope should not be in some future answer to our prayers, that God will
eventually give us what we want if we just hang in there long enough and drum
up enough confidence in Him to do it. (Oh, how many times I fall into
that!) Our hope should be in the fact that God is here now and that He is
working things out in His time and in His way, even if it doesn’t match our time
and way.
It’s not letting the darkness and
confusion pull us away from God, but letting it draw us even nearer to
Him.
When we get past the point of needing our way and our timing to keep our faith
alive, when we give up the “need” to get the answer we want and we passionately
cling to Him instead, then we have learned to humbly put our faith in God, and
not in some idea of who we think God should be and how He should act.
When we get to the point where God - and not some particular answer - has
become what we really need, then He has become God in all areas of our lives,
even in the pain and unanswered prayer and confusion. And it is then that
we find ourselves and our desires transformed. When we are no longer
concerned with what we think we need, we are free to be concerned with God’s
glory, His plans, His priorities, and our witness to other people.
Sometimes, He shows me what a big God He is by not answering my prayers
as I think He should, by not doing things my way.
Other
Important Verses
Another problem with understanding a verse, such as Mark 11:22-24, is that isolating it from other Scripture leads to
misunderstanding it. And in this case, it makes the Mark passage a “name
it and claim it in faith” passage. If we don’t take into account the rest
of Scripture, we will end up focusing more on what we want and on our faith’s
ability to make things happen, and less on what He wants, on humbling ourselves
before God, on drawing near to Him, and on immersing ourselves in Him and His
Word.
After all, if my faith is enough to
get it done, how much do I need Him? (And when my faith makes it happen,
who’s really getting the glory?)
Therefore, in order to best understand Mark
11:22-24, it would be wise to do a quick review on other “prayer verses”
and see what it adds to our understanding of how and when God answers.
And doing this helps me see some of the pitfalls in the “name it and claim it”
interpretation of the Mark verses and the dangers of isolating
them.
1 John 5:14-15: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that
if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know
that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of
him.”
James 4:2-3: “. . . You do not have, because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you
may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
John 14:13-14: “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the
Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my
name, and I will do it.”
Yes, this last one sounds like the Mark
11 passage: Ask for anything and Jesus will do it. Wow,
that sounds great! What an awesome power - to be able to get anything we
ask for. But! I don’t think that’s what Jesus really meant. I
cannot just ask for what I want and believe that my faith will make it
happen. Because these also say that it has to be in line with His Will.
Sure, we can ask for whatever we want, but He “hears” the things that are in
line with His Will. And when He hears the prayers that are in line with
His Will, we can be confident that He will do them. And those verses also
say that we won’t get what we ask for if we have selfish motives, and that we
have to ask in Jesus’ name, for the glory of God.
But this is not a blank
check. We can’t just add “in Jesus’ name, Amen” to the ends of our
prayers and expect God to give us what we ask for.
So what does it mean to
pray in Jesus’ name? I like to think of it this way. Let’s say that
I work for a company, and I go to an office supply store to get some supplies
that my boss wants. Now, I am going there in his place - in his name - to
get the things that he wants. As long as it’s on his list and in line
with his needs and what he wants for his office and goals, then it’s in his
name. But if I don’t ask for it, I
won’t get it. And as soon as I ask for something off of the list -
something that I want, that I think he wants, or that’s out of line with
what the office needs - I am asking in my own name. And I can’t put it on
his tab or claim that it’s his will.
When we consider all of these verses together, it weeds out a lot of the
requests that we make. How many of our requests are in our own names, for
our own desires and purposes? Even prayers for healing or blessings can
come from our own desires and our own thoughts of what we need. God doesn’t
promise to give us whatever we want, but He will give us what He wants for
us. If we ask. And if we fail to ask, we don’t necessarily get
it. A clear indication on the importance of prayer, how it really does
make a difference. It’s not just a formality.
Okay, now this is a lot to think about already. But there is more.
(And even more than what I am saying here.) On top of all that I’ve
already said, there are many more verses that shed light on why our prayers may
not be effective. We have a much greater responsibility than we realize
in making sure that our prayers get heard.
For one, maybe part of the reason that our prayers aren’t “working” and that it
seems like God isn’t listening is because . . . God isn’t listening!
“Whoa! Wait a minute! How could you dare to say something like
that? That He isn’t listening … when He
hears and knows all?”
Well, let me explain. We want
God to be there when we want Him, and we want Him to give us what we ask
for. And so we single out verses like Mark 11:22-24 to convince ourselves that our only job is to ask and
believe, and then He’ll do it. (If this is the case, the best thing that
God can do is not answer our prayers as we desire.)
But what we don’t do is consider the many verses that highlight our
responsibilities in making sure our prayers are heard. God is not
manipulated to do whatever we want by our level of “faith.” (Yes, He
wants our faith and requires our faith, but faith is not genuine faith when we
use it as a tool to get what we want.) But we do have an effect on the
effectiveness of our prayers by how we live and by the condition of our
hearts.
Psalm 66:17-19: “I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my
tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have
listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.”
If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened!
When we cry out to God honestly (not just thinking it, but actually putting it
into prayer) and with a sensitive heart and broken spirit, He listens.
But if we chose to live in self-sufficiency or if we harbor sin in our hearts,
He is not obligated to listen to or answer our prayers. Because we have
put up a wall between us. We have chosen distance. And so we are
blocking God from hearing our prayers and from answering them.
This shows me the importance of Psalm
139:23-24: “Search me, O God, and know my
heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any
offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This
really should be a daily thing, asking God to search our hearts and reveal
anything that we need to ask forgiveness for or make amends for. (And
admittedly, I don’t do this every day as I should. Usually, I forget to
do it until things get to be too much for me to handle. Sometimes, I have
to be forced by helplessness to passionately seek God.)
So if we wonder why our prayer life seems weak or if we are going before Him
with a very serious need, maybe we should spend some time evaluating our
hearts. Because hiding sin in our hearts is a wall between us and God,
and it has an effect on our prayers. In fact, look at the very next verse
after Jesus tells us that we will get anything we ask for if we believe . .
.
Mark 11:25: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against
anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins.”
And this echoes Matthew 6:14-15:
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you,
your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men
their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
I don’t know about you, but this is a very hard teaching to absorb. I
will not be forgiven based on my unforgiveness towards others. And my
unforgiving state has an effect on whether or not my prayers get heard, because
ongoing, unconfessed sin in my life blocks God from listening to my
prayers. And it blocks me from being of any real use to Him.
Now, I do not believe that these verses are saying that we will lose our
salvation. I believe that there are two levels of forgiveness. One
relates to the moment we chose Jesus as our Savior and we were forgiven of our
sins, as a whole, so that we could attain salvation. This is a permanent
forgiveness. And we can’t lose that by any sin we commit. Because
if we could lose it by our sins then Jesus’ death was not enough. And it
would be meaningless if it didn’t fully meet God’s requirements for our
salvation. And He would have to die over and over again for every new
sin.
The other level of forgiveness, though, relates to the condition of our
relationship with the Lord and our daily walk with Him. When we sin, we
break fellowship with Him and we prevent ourselves from attaining the abundant,
God-glorifying life that we should have. Like in a marriage, a sin
doesn’t necessarily mean that you run out and get divorced, but it does
interfere with the condition of your relationship with your spouse. And
we need to confess these sins as they happen to restore proper
fellowship.
There are numerous other passages in the Bible that say the same thing.
The fact that we have responsibilities in maintaining a proper, godly
relationship with God - that we have an effect on the effectiveness of our
prayers - is a very real teaching that should be taken seriously.
And not only do we have the responsibility to forgive others and to seek
forgiveness from God, but we are to ask for forgiveness from others for any
offenses we have made against them.
Matthew 5:23-24: “Therefore, if
you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother
has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First
go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
Being reconciled to others is so important to God that we are not even supposed
to offer our gifts at the altar until we do.
But how many of us harbor bitterness towards others for some offense? How
many can’t let it go because it seems so justified? They deserve it,
right? Or how many of us won’t seek reconciliation because we don’t think
that we should have to? We didn’t do anything wrong; it was all them . . .
right!?!
But forgiveness is not so much about the other person; it’s about our
relationship with God. The Word makes it clear that the responsibility
rests with us to forgive anything that we have against someone else and to seek
forgiveness from others and from God, if we want to approach God in
prayer. And if we don’t, it blocks God from forgiving us, which blocks
God from hearing our prayers.
And even worse, unforgiveness towards others (or any resistance to confessing any
sin in our lives, for that matter) shows hard-heartedness, which is
diametrically opposed to a healthy, open relationship with God. And we
will further block ourselves off from being sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
And the longer we resist, the more we will entrench ourselves behind the wall
that we have put up between us and the Lord. And the more numb and
desensitized - and self-justified - we will feel.
It’s all about your heart and if you humble yourself before a holy God.
How many of our prayers go unheard because of our heart’s condition and our
attitude towards others? Pride, bitterness, envy, gossip, idol worship,
unforgiveness, ungodly speech, getting drunk, cheating, giving into
temptations, lust, affairs, sex outside of marriage, acting out in anger,
worry, etc., are all sins that need to be confessed and repented of, if we want
God to hear our prayers and to have the most effective life for Christ.
It’s shocking, I know. I mean, God hears all of our prayers, right?
So how can I say that He doesn’t? I don’t think it’s so much that He
doesn’t “hear” them, but that we bind Him from working in our lives and from
answering them because we have chosen to walk away from Him in our sins.
We have chosen the roadblock. We have chosen sin. And we can’t hold
onto sin and hold onto Him at the same time.
And once again, we need to bring this back to actually praying for forgiveness
and healing our relationship with God, not just thinking about it. Look
at this verse 2 Chronicles 7:14-15:
“If my people, who are called by my name, will
humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways,
then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their
land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers
offered in this place.” If we pray for forgiveness, He will hear.
And here’s one for husbands. 1
Peter 3:7: “Husbands, in the same way be
considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the
weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that
nothing will hinder your prayers.” The degree to which we treat
others with consideration and respect, particularly regarding a husband’s
treatment of his wife in this verse, is the degree to which our prayers are
unhindered.
And here are three that scare me:
Proverbs 21:13: “If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too
will cry out and not be answered.”
James 4:17: “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and
doesn’t do it, sins.”
Romans 14:23: “. . . everything that does not come from faith is
sin.”
Yikes! The first verse tells me that God does not listen to us if we
ignore those in need. And the second two broaden the definition of
sin. Sin is not just doing things that we know we shouldn’t do; it’s also
sin to not do what we know we should do and to do anything that doesn’t come
from faith. And sin hinders prayer.
This really opens up a whole new side of our responsibility, of what God
expects from those of us who call ourselves Christians. Do we ignore
needs that we see? Do we turn a blind eye at injustice? Do we fail
to treat others kindly? Do we fail to do the good that we know we should
do? This is sin!
What, in our lives, are we doing that is a result of faithlessness? Do we
hoard money –fail to tithe - because we don’t have faith in God to
provide? Do we work on the Sabbath instead of honoring it because we fear
that we won’t be able to make enough money working just 6 days a week? Do
we seek our own ways out of trials because we don’t have faith in God to help
us through? Do we look to satisfy our desires outside of the boundaries
God has given because we don’t trust that God’s way is best? Do we fail
to obey because we are afraid of what obedience will cost us? This is
sin, too!
We can open up to just about any passage in the Bible and find something we
should be convicted about, something that will lead us toward a deeper
relationship with Him and a better idea of how to live righteously, which leads
us toward more “powerful and effective” prayers. But how many of us take
the time to do that? How many of us read the Bible with the intention of
seeking to live more righteously? Or have we become comfortable in our
own little world, behind our walls of fear, self-sufficiency,
self-centeredness, and sin?
1 John 3:21-23: “Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have
confidence before God and receive from Him anything we ask, because we obey his
commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in
the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.”
Notice that it’s not just an inactive, passive command to avoid doing anything
that doesn’t please Him. It’s an active command that instructs us to live
our lives doing the things that please Him. But we shouldn’t look at
obedience as a way to manipulate Him to get what we want or as something that
we have to do out of duty or irrational fear or to earn His love.
The desire to obey is the natural response of a heart that properly fears
God and that is so full of His love and of love for Him that you want nothing
less than to do His Will and bring Him glory.
John 15:7: “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask
whatever you wish, and it will be given you.” Now, if we ended
with that verse, it would sound like a blank check. (Notice, though, that
we need to be remaining in Him and to store up His words in our hearts.
That’s a lot of responsibility.) But we need to go on to the next verse
to find out what kind of prayers God is talking about. Is it really
“whatever you wish”?
Verse 8: “This
is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my
disciples.” God grants the prayers that are centered on bearing
fruit for the Father’s glory, that show others that we are His disciples.
And this comes as a result of remaining in Him, which means way more than just
reading our Bibles, going to church, and praying every now and then.
Remaining in Him, as a tree branch
remains connected to the trunk, means being vitally connected to Him. It
means absorbing and living in His Word, love, power, grace, etc. It is
not a casual thing, and it is not about our wants and desires!
Effective
Prayer
When I consider all these verses together, I can see that it doesn’t mean that
He will always grant anything that I ask. Am I abiding in Him
daily? Or am I just running to my Vending Machine God to ask for what I
want or think I need? Do I have my plans, pleasure, and glory in mind … or
God’s? (And here’s a scary question: Does my life currently
show obedience and reflect His glory and His love and His Word? How about
in my home, in how I treat others, in how I speak and think, when I am in a
crowd, when I am alone, etc.?)
After really searching the Word for verses on prayer, I’m beginning to believe
that God doesn’t just answer prayer based on how much faith we have and on
whether or not we claim that it will happen ahead of time.
Yes, we need faith. That is a
necessity. But it’s not about “performing” or about jumping through hoops
to prove how much faith we have. It’s about the condition of our lives
and hearts, about our relationship with Him and with others, and about how
closely and obediently we are walking with Him and living in His love.
Do we have faith in Him to handle
our requests in His way and in His timing?
And no matter how He chooses to
answer – even if He says “No” - do we have enough faith in Him as a good,
loving Father to remain close to Him and to praise Him regardless of the answer? (“No” answers and long waits uncover what’s really
in our hearts, showing us the true condition of our faith and trust.)
Summing up all that I’ve learned so far, I’d have to say that our prayers are
most effective…
- when we are living righteously,
- when they are in line with God’s Will and are unselfish and are in Jesus’
name (according to what He wants),
- when there are no un-confessed sins blocking our relationship with God
(meaning that we need to clear the air with God and others, seeking forgiveness
from God and those we have wronged and forgiving those who have wronged us),
- when we (especially husbands) treat others with consideration and respect,
- when we are doing the good we know we need to do,
- when we are living and acting in accordance with our faith and not doing
anything that doesn’t come from faith,
- when our hearts don’t condemn us (because we have actively searched them and
we have righted any wrongs, and not just because we are ignoring any
conviction),
- when we obey His commands and do what pleases Him,
- when we believe in Jesus and are loving one another,
- when we are remaining in Him and His words remain in us,
- and when we are living for and bearing fruit for His glory!
This is a lot to consider. It is very sobering.
But we need to resist the urge to make this list a formula to get what we want
or a check-list that we have to do before we can approach God in prayer. It’s easy sometimes to get so hung up on all
these things that we end up afraid to pray, afraid to “do it wrong.”
So what should you do if you don't
know "how" to pray or are afraid of "praying wrong" or
are afraid of approaching God?
Just start talking to Him
honestly.
It’s all about our heart’s sensitivity to God and our desire to live life with
Him, doing our best to continue transforming ourselves (with the Holy Spirit’s
help) to be more like Him. And this will take our whole lives. So
we should never let a “check-list” come between us and God.
More important to Him than the
particular words we pray or how we pray is that we draw near to Him in
genuineness and humility, that we are needy for Him, dependent on Him.
And this is why and how we should pray. Because we need Him and because
He wants us to let Him near. He can handle anything we bring His way; we
just need to learn to be willing to accept His answers. And this becomes
a lot easier when we learn that He really does love us.
Claiming
Biblical Promises
So faith in God isn’t “claiming” something that He hasn’t promised, believing
that He’ll do it just because we believe in His ability to do it. Godly
faith is trusting that He is the God that He claims to be in the Bible and that
He will do what’s best, in His time and in His way. And our job is to
follow in obedience, not to lead.
And contrary to the “name it and claim” way, I believe that we are off-base
when we are “claiming” a particular answer to prayer before He reveals it, when
we tell Him the answer that we expect and that we are going to wait for.
I think we need to not be claiming specific answers or blessings as much as
“instructions” or “help along the way.” And there are numerous promises
He makes us in the Bible about helping us through this life.
It might be far more effective to pray for strength while waiting than to pray
that the wait ends soon. We could pray for guidance to know His answer,
instead of that the answer is such-and-such. We may not necessarily be
able to claim healing, but we can claim God’s peace and wisdom while we
wait. We can claim His grace to uphold us while we go through the trials
or the waiting or when facing a “no” answer.
Sometimes, the problem is just that we are focused on the wrong thing. We
are focused on the end, when we should be focused on the journey. And we
are asking for what we want, instead of seeking what He wants for us. Or
we might have preconceived ideas of what God should do, what He will do, or how
He should be. And we end up “claiming” a promise that He has never made
to us. And then when it doesn’t happen, we are crushed and so is our
faith.
We can have faith in the promises that God has given us in the Bible. We
can believe in our hearts that He will answer us when we ask for those kinds of
things. But we cannot always “believe” that He will give us whatever we
ask for, if we are asking for things that He has not promised in His Word.
But we need to be careful when claiming promises and guidance from
Scripture. We can easily find verses to verify and confirm just about
anything we want. I mean, we could use Proverbs 15:13 to justify any selfish thing that we want to do: “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache
crushes the spirit.”
But did we seek what God wanted to tell us and wait for it? Did we follow
the Spirit’s leading in searching the Scriptures? Or did we go right to
the verse that we “needed” to hear, and use it to embolden our decision or to
try to influence God to answer as we want Him to?
We need to be less about leading and
more about following!
And we need to be patient. God doesn’t often reveal His answers ahead of
time. Because it’s the journey and the struggle that build godly
character and mature our faith.
If He’s making us wait, if He seems slow in answering, there are reasons.
Sometimes it’s that there are issues inside of us that we need to discover and
work through. Sometimes it’s to help us go deeper or higher in our walk
with Him. Sometimes it’s that we are unknowingly blocking Him by our own
sins or desires. Sometimes it’s that our desires need to change because
we are asking for the wrong things. And sometimes it’s just because He’s
working on the answer, but it’s not ready yet because He works with and through
humans to get His Will done.
But we are hasty. We are impatient. And we think everything hinges
on us: on our prayers, our strength, our resourcefulness, and our faith.
And so we get discouraged with ourselves, our faith, and Him if we have to wait
too long. We feel that we let ourselves down, that we let Him down, and
that He let us down. All because our prayers “didn’t work.”
But it shouldn’t be this way.
Our “faith” should not hinge on how and when God chooses to answer.
I should not be limiting God by my expectations. I should not be putting parameters around Him
and how He works in my life. I cannot determine how He will answer.
I cannot know how He should answer. And so I should not be focused on
“the answer.” I should be focused more on how I am walking with Him on
this journey through life.
While I cannot claim a particular, pre-determined answer, there are many
Biblical promises that I can claim to help me on this journey and to encourage
me during the waiting. And I should be searching for the Bible’s promises
that relate to my character, my walk, my relationship with Him, and His help
and comfort and wisdom and guidance, etc.
Idolatrous
Prayers and Holding Things Loosely
I think that there is something else that we need to consider when it comes to
our requests. How many times do our requests and our desires for an
answer become idolatrous pursuits, taking our focus from God? I think
sometimes this is why many of us end up in the “furnace of long waits.”
To refine us, to purify our hearts, to help us weed out wayward desires and
idols, and to help us refocus on what we should be focused on: God!
And most of us don’t do this on our own, not when things are going good and we
are getting what we want. Because when things are going our way, we are
content to float and to live self-centered, temporally-focused lives. And
we think our relationship with Him must be pretty good for things to be going
along so nicely.
And so He allows us to face “the
furnace” of unanswered prayer so that we can discover the selfishness and
self-sufficiency and sin in our hearts, so that we learn that we need to be
pursuing God - not the answers that we want - and letting Him fill our hearts
and lives with what He wants for us.
After a looooong time of waiting, God finally “remembered” us and answered our
request for a house. But when we were working through the process of
trying to buy it, I was getting very anxious and discouraged. It was a
short sale, and the sellers had unexpectedly lost a job and were getting a
divorce. So the wait dragged on and on. And I was getting more and
more frustrated and antsy and depressed.
When we finally got word that the closing date was finalized, I was
relieved. Relieved. . . and upset! Because I realized that it had
taken so long that I had gotten past the point of being excited about it.
I wasn’t overjoyed or thrilled to finally be getting the house that we had
wanted for so long; I just wanted to get it over with. And that was
upsetting to me. I just wanted it to be the thrilling experience that
getting your first home was supposed to be. I felt robbed of joy.
And I confessed this discouragement to the Lord one night in a “pity-me
prayer.” (Wow, am I an ingrate or what!)
“Lord, why couldn’t we have gotten this house when I was excited about it and
looking forward to it? We had waited so long for our first home (11
years), and I just wanted the chance to be happy about it. But it took so
long to finally get it that I’m not excited about it anymore. It’s no
longer the ‘fulfillment of the dream’ that it was supposed to be. Now ...
it’s … it’s just a house.”
And I heard one word from God. One word that put it all in
perspective: “Exactly!”
Immediately, I went from griping and
feeling sorry for myself to “Ohhhhhh, I get it now!” With that one word,
I realized that God was telling me that this wasn’t “my dream” or “my
house.” It was His house on loan to us. It was His gift to us, to
be used to glorify Him and to be used for His purposes. I wasn’t supposed
to hold it up as highly as I did or hold onto it as tightly as I was. I
was supposed to hold it loosely, knowing that it was by Him and for Him.
It wasn’t a “dream house” for me to covet. It was . . . just a
house!
Oh, how many times I do that to myself! Making an idol out of some thing
or some answer that I am waiting for. I pray and wait and struggle and
plead and doubt and get discouraged. And then, I get to a point where I
get so depressed that I can’t pray about it anymore, where I realize that I’m
worse off to keep dwelling on this concern or request. And it’s usually
then that God shows me that I have lost focus on Him and that I have been
consumed with my request. I have been trying to manipulate God with my
prayers and with my “faith” in Him to answer the way I want or think I
need.
And it’s hard to do, but when I get to this point - when the answer I want or
when my desire for an answer has become an “idol” - I need to take my focus off
of my request and put it back on God. I need to “give up” and give the
Lord permission to answer as He will and to work things out in His timing.
Because whatever His answer is, it’s ultimately by Him and for His glory.
And so I pray:
“Lord, forgive me for making an idol of this request and for pursuing the
answer when I should be pursuing You. I leave it in Your hands now, and I
ask You to do as You will and to give me the strength to face this unanswered
prayer gracefully. I know You are good and I trust You. I may not
have the great faith that I wish I did, but I am putting my pathetic, little
faith in You right now. Thank You for being a big God who can see what I
can’t see and can handle what I can’t handle. I lean on Your strength
now. May You be glorified through this.”
Gods knows that we have the ability to do this - the ability to make an idol
out of our own lives, our requests, our wants. And so maybe He allows
enough waiting and enough unanswered prayer so that we get to the point where
the things we desperately want and pray for become “just a . . .”
Because when it’s “just a . . . ,” we hold it more loosely, keep our focus
where it belongs, and remember Who deserves the glory.
Dealing
with “No” Answers and Long Waits
Now, no matter how “righteously” we live, we will still struggle from time to
time with our own desires, some selfish ones and some for good things that He
is not willing to grant for His own reasons. But the longer and closer we
walk with Him, the “easier” it gets to refocus and to allow Him to answer the
way He wants.
But it takes remembering His
goodness to us and His love and His displays of power in the past. It’s so easy to get discouraged when we take
our eyes off of Him and what He is capable of. So we need to be immersing
ourselves in Him daily if we want to have the greatest amount of peace and joy
possible. Peace and joy in the midst of unanswered prayer do not come to
us apart from abiding in Him daily.
And I think that’s what I’m learning to do, through all of the unanswered
prayers and waiting. I’m learning to not let my faith in Him hinge on how
He chooses to answer. I’m learning to let Him be God!
In the name of transparency and
dependence on Him, it’s okay to pray for something specific. I believe
that He can do what I am asking . . . if He chooses to. I have no doubt
that He is capable. But in the name of humility, I have to allow Him to
answer as He wants. (And sometimes, this is not easy to do, even though
it should be when you realize what a good, loving, wise God He is.)
I need to be sensitive and moldable
and to allow God to purify my request and change my desires to be more in line
with His Will. When I get hung up on a specific answer or on what I think
I “need” then I get tunnel-vision and I lose my ability to see what God may
actually be doing in response to my request.
But to be honest, it is hard sometimes to lay our requests down before the Lord
- to place them in His hands fully - when the answer is so important to
us. And it’s especially hard when the Lord seems to be taking His time,
and we want our answer NOW! (And I realize that I cause stress for myself
because there are many times that I want my answer early – earlier than it
needs to come. I want the assurance that it is already there, when
instead God is telling me to trust that the right answer will be there when it’s
the right time.)
But these times are very teachable moments in our lives. And they can
either be times to get bitter and angry, or times to draw near to God and
experience enormous growth in our Christian character.
Maybe that’s part of the reason why
God seems so silent, hidden, and unresponsive most of the time – to force us to
decide if we will turn our backs on Him, if we will remain half-hearted
“what’s-in-it-for-me” Christians … or if we will commit to Him fully, even
though He is a mysterious and confusing and sometimes frustrating
God.
So how long do we continue to hang in there and pray for something that doesn’t
seem to be happening? When it seems like God is not listening and it
hurts us to have to plead again about a certain request? I’ve
pleaded with God for things that haven’t happened or that seemed a long time in
coming. And this is the best advice I can offer right now.
If God seems to be silent and not
answering a prayer, hang in there and keep praying about a concern until one of
five things happens. Until . . .
1) God says
“Yes.”
2) God says, “No, My grace is
sufficient for you.” (And sometimes a “no” is actually a blessing in
disguise.)
3) God has strengthened your
conviction that this is indeed the way you are to continue praying, and you
need to persist in prayer until it happens.
4) God has purified your
desires through the trial and the waiting, and He has shown you how to change
your request to be more in line with His Will. Or . . .
5) You realize that you have
made an idol out of the request and the answer that you want.
And if that has happened, I think it is wise to put the prayer request aside,
for a time at least. When we learn that we have been so focused on
a request or on the pursuit of the answer that we want - to the point that we
have lost our focus on God, lost our confidence in God, and have caused
ourselves emotional distress - then we need to confess it and to fully hand the
request over to Him to do with as He pleases.
And this, when we can do nothing
else about this request, is the time to praise Him. And to keep praising
Him - until we have Him so clearly in focus and at the forefront of our minds
that our desire to get what we want pales in comparison to His glory and His
love. (Plus, I think the very act of praising Him repels demons, whereas
giving in to despair or discouragement draws them in and gives them a greater
foothold in your heart and mind.)
Also, if it seems as though God is not answering your prayer, ask yourself if
there is anything that you should be doing or not doing. Sometimes, we
pray “lazy prayers.” We ask God to do something for us while we ignore
the resources and wisdom He gave us to do it ourselves, such as praying that
God gives us a healthy body when we won’t exercise or eat right.
Or we pray prayers from the wrong
angle, and we need to slightly shift what we are asking for. Instead of
praying, “Lord, change my spouse,” it would be far more effective to pray,
“Lord, help me see what I can do/think/change to make this marriage
better.”
Sometimes, to get our prayers
answered, it takes tweaking them a little, shifting our view to something we
are overlooking, or praying that God opens our eyes to the answer that is
already there.
And I firmly believe that God allows us to make our own choices. He does
not force us to do what He wants. So if you are praying for God to make
someone else do something or not do something – such as to become a better
spouse, to become a Christian, to stop using drugs, etc. – remember that God
does not force people to do things His way.
Yes, it is His Will and desire that people come to Jesus and that they become
better spouses, keep their vows, kick a drug habit, stop living in sin,
etc. But even He won’t force them to do it. They have to choose
to. So if you prayed that God would make someone do such-and-such and it
didn’t happen, it’s not that God failed you. I’m sure He knocked on the
door of their hearts, but they chose not to open it. He tried to show
them the truth, but they kept their eyes closed.
[While “Lord, save so-and-so” may not necessarily be effective, I believe that
we can and should pray that God places the Truth in their paths and that their
eyes and ears are open to it, that their minds understand it, that their hearts
are soft and sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s calls, and that God surrounds and
protects them with His angels to keep them from the diversions, lies, and
blinders of the Evil One. The person ultimately has the responsibility
and option of choosing to believe or not, but we can pray for the best possible
conditions to help someone see the Truth.
I did this once for an unsaved friend. I prayed over and over that God
would put the Truth clearly in her path and protect her from the diversions of
Satan. And one day, she called to tell me that while she was in the stall
in a public restroom, she looked down on the floor and there was a pamphlet
explaining the way to salvation. She came to Christ not long after.
God works in mysterious – and amusing – ways!]
Final
Thought
In the end, I have to wonder if God doesn’t always give us everything we ask
for simply to remind us that He is God and we are not.
So that we learn to follow, not
lead.
So that we learn to live in
humility, not self-sufficiency.
So that we can learn that it’s about
what He wants, not what we want.
So that none of us can feel like we
have an inside track to God.
So that we get rid of our “pat”
answers about faith and God and life.
So that we can never shake our heads
at others in condescending pity when their prayers aren’t answered the way they
want, thinking, Poor things. If only they prayed like me or had my
strong faith.
And so that we remember that none of us
can really understand or control God. (And isn’t this exactly what
most of us get hung up on in a crisis of faith? But a god that can really
be totally understood or controlled by us is not really God at
all.)
Summing it all up, when it comes to prayer and faith, what we should want more
than anything is to get to the place where we can take His hand and walk
forward into the darkness in faith. Faith in Him! Because even if
we don’t get what we want, we know that He is a good, loving Father who will
work all things for good! Can I get an “Amen”?
