I
am a homeschooling mom of four growing boys.
When I made the decision to homeschool, I had one child – a
two-year-old. So at that time,
homeschooling seemed totally do-able.
All I had was one child to think about.
Then came the second. Then the
third. Then the fourth.
And
as that has happened, there has been a huge increase in dirty laundry, dirty dishes,
piles of clothes, piles of toys, piles of books and papers, crumbs on the
floor, noise in the house, fights between kids, schoolwork to dish out and
grade, the number of times I hound the kids to get their work done, the amount
of food I cook (and my desire to cook healthier), etc.
And
consequently, what’s gone way down is my ability to keep up with it all, my
self-confidence, my opportunities to sit down and relax, to sleep through the
night, to pee without interruption, to have time to think, etc. (It’s hard to have moments to pause when kids
ask “What’s for breakfast … what’s for lunch … what’s for dinner?” ALL DAY LONG!
They ask about what’s for dinner before we even have lunch! And I’m like, “We haven’t even had lunch yet,
dude … so don’t ask about dinner yet! I
need a break from food and planning. All
you think about it food. Food, food,
food. All day long. And if I tell you what we’re having, you’ll
just complain anyway. Because someone
always complains.” Yeah, it’s like that
… every day!)
Anyway,
awhile back, I was thinking about how I can’t keep up with it all. One person cannot do it all. But I thought, At least I’m doing my best.
And then I thought that if someone came in my house and watched us for a
week and saw all the things that I can’t get done, they would totally disagree
that I’m doing my best. They would say
that I am failing in so many areas.
And
you know? They’d be right. I can’t do my best, try as I might. Not when I am juggling that many things. And that’s when it dawned on me that instead
of taking comfort in the fact that “I’m doing my best” (because I’m really
not), I need to take comfort in the fact that “I’m not doing my best … but
that’s okay. Because one person cannot
do their best in every area of life. But
I am doing my best to do my best. And
that’s more than enough.”
What
I mean is that if I was just a home cook, I could do my best in cooking. I could make carefully planned meals with all
the freshest ingredients. And it would
all be on time and satisfying and super healthy and everyone would love every
meal.
If
I was just a housecleaner, I could do my best.
There would be no piles of laundry stagnating in the hamper. All clothes would be immediately put away
after folding instead of sitting in piles on the floor and on top of dressers
where they end up getting kicked around and then shoved back in the hamper
because no one knows if they are dirty or clean because they were never put
away in the first place. The dishes
would get done after every meal instead of sitting on the counter for two
days. The floor would get vacuumed every
week instead of during the cleaning-frenzy before a birthday party or when
company’s coming over.
If
I was just a homeschooler, I could do my best.
I could sit down with each kid in a timely fashion and go over their
work with them. I could read books to my
kids outside under a tree as they sat around me, enthralled with the stories I
was reading. I could take them to the
park every week for “gym time” or enroll them in some sport. I could grade papers and tests in a timely
manner and help each child correct every mistake so that they really understood
the lessons.
If
I was just a mom and a friend and a neighbor, I could do my best. I could help out whenever a neighbor or
friend needed a hand. I could volunteer
at church. I could listen carefully
whenever my children talked to me about anything instead of hearing snatches of
what they’re telling me as I prepare a rushed dinner, giving them half-hearted
answers or telling them that “I don’t really care right now. Can’t you see I’m making dinner - the meal
you ask me about ten times a day?”
If
I only had one hat to wear, one job to do, I could do my best. But I don’t have one hat, one job. I have more than any one person can handle
perfectly. And so I am letting go of
“perfectly.” I am letting go of my need
to “do my best.” And I am going to be
content to know that I am doing my best to do my best – which means that I can
only really get done about 25% of any one job before needing to move onto the
next, oftentimes doing more than one thing at a time (cooking dinner while I
make breakfast cake for the next morning as I quiz my son on his spelling
words).
The
Bible even addresses this in a way, when it says “Whatever you
do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since
you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Jesus you are serving.” (Col. 3:23-24)
It’s
not about doing everything perfectly.
It’s about putting your heart into whatever you are doing, doing your
best to do your best.
It’s
not so much about a perfectly-finished product but about the work, about
putting in the best effort you can, the best effort that one person can
give. And if you have multiple jobs to
do, it means being okay with the fact that you can’t do it all perfectly but
that what you did, you did with all your heart!
I
know that I am not alone in this. Whether
you are a stay-at-home parent or a working parent, I am sure that you feel the
crushing pressure of too many things to juggle.
And if you’re like me, you keep telling yourself that you are doing your
best, yet you realize that you are not keeping up with it all like you wish you
could. And you feel guilty, feel like
your best isn’t good enough.
Well,
I’m here to say … It’s okay to not do your best when you are juggling as many
things as you are. You are human. You are only one person. You were never meant to do your best when
you’re juggling 85 different things at one time. But you are doing your best to do your
best. And that’s more than enough!
