Since we are not going to our church anymore because of its recent slide into Calvinism, I am needing to find good, godly Christian speakers online to get my "church" from. For now. And my go-to preacher is, of course, Tony Evans. But to mix it up a little, I have recently been watching his daughter speak, Priscilla Shirer. And she's good. Really good. (I also love the movie she's in, War Room. It really does make you want to take prayer more seriously.)
Over the past couple days, I watched these three videos by Priscilla Shirer. And I thought I'd share the links here, in case you are looking for a little practical encouragement too.
[I'll admit, though, that while I totally understand the need for and importance of prayer, I'm still really struggling with it. After having so many prayers and expectations fail, so many times I've gotten my hopes up about something only to severely crash and burn, I just don't know how to pray anymore. I can pray for others, but I don't know how to pray for me. I don't even know how to want anything to be different anymore.
I mean, yes, I do pray of course. Immediate concerns and all. But I get a little paralyzed when I find myself wanting to pray for something that's important to me. All I can think is "I've been here before. I've asked before, with tears and pleadings and hope and patience and trust. And I've crashed and burned. How can I keep asking, keep hoping, keep thinking I know what I need or what I should ask for? It will hurt too much to be told 'no' again."
And I fall silent.
I guess I don't want to ask for specifics of how God should bless me or answer prayers, as if I know a thing about how my life should go or how He should bless me. Yes, I know you're supposed to pray for specifics, but I can't. I get my hopes up then. I get tunnel-vision. And so for now, I'd rather just pray, "Lord, as You will. However You want bless me, I'll take it." (Last time I prayed for whatever tiny bit of encouragement God might send my way because I desperately needed just a touch of encouragement, the next day I got a call that my mom was committed to a hospital for 3 days of observation due to her excessive drinking. See why I hesitate to pray sometimes. Satan's done a number on me.)
Anyway, maybe someday I'll get more bold in prayer, more confident, but for now I'd rather just rest in the presence of the Lord, not pleading for what I want, not trying to make things go my way, just simply staying quiet by His side. "But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content," Psalm 131:2. Well, trying to be content.]
[A great reminder that even when it looks like nothing is happening, there are things going on behind the scenes that we can't see. God is working, even when we can't see it. And this is where faith comes in!
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1, the way I always say it, even though I can't tell which translation it's from.)
The only thing I would add to this "sermon" is that we can't always expect to see the fruits of our labors or to see our patient obedience pay off on this side of eternity. God's promises are not always fulfilled before death (Hebrews 11:39), because death is not the deadline. We need to be obedient for obedience's sake, for God's sake, not because we think it will eventually pay off or "earn" us what we want.
Things here might never go the way we want them to go. Our dreams might never get fulfilled this side of eternity. Are we being faithful and obedient because we think it might someday convince God to give us what we want? Or will we still be faithful and obedient, even if nothing ever changes? The answer to these will tell us a lot about where our heart is, where our treasure is, and what - who - we are really pursuing and worshipping!]
