The Chains of Motherhood!

            I was reading a book while I was on vacation that I was kinda enjoying – until I began to see how much this woman-author was putting work above family and how much effort she was putting into excusing it, into making it sound like it was a such a good, wise decision.  She had congratulated herself for focusing on raising her children for the first six or so years of their lives (along with focusing on having an affair to get back at her adulterous husband) before needing to pursue her dreams and professional goals. 

            It was as though she was saying, “See how much I sacrificed for you for those six years!  Be thankful for that much.  Wow!  Six whole years!  Look at what a saint and a dedicated mother I have been.  And now that you are six years old, it’s my turn to take care of me.”  And she left her family to live with the guy she was having an affair with and to build a career.  Because it fulfilled her more than just being a "mother and wife."

            It bothered me deeply to read that.  But what really did it – what made me close the book in disgust and refuse to read anymore - was this line (paraphrased) …

            “I needed to be free from the chains of being a mother and wife.”

            She needed to be free from the burdensome, limiting chains of being a mother and wife.  She needed to pursue her dreams, her own goals, even if it meant sacrificing her children.  It was "necessary."  It was the "right thing" to do, even if her kids couldn't understand why she "had to" do it.  Of course, if she could have done both, she would have.  But since she couldn't, she chose her career.  After all, you can't pass up rare opportunities like that.  (I think this attitude is one of the main things that's wrong with our society and families nowadays.  I think it's destructive and leads to many broken hearts and damaged self-esteems.)

           For her, taking care of strangers was more fulfilling than taking care of those closest to her ... those young, dependent, trusting souls who looked up to her and who ached for her love and affirmation and approval and guidance and presence ... those few people on earth who would share life’s journey with her, who would bring their future families over for dinner every so often, who would visit every holiday, and who would be there to take care of her when she was old and sick (that is, if they hadn’t learned by her example to put themselves first and to walk away from their family responsibilities).

 

            “Free from the chains of being a mother and a wife.”

 

            I guess that’s the difference between mothers …

 

 

            I wonder if the strangers she served – the ones she dedicated her life to, made food for, and sacrificed her children for – would be there for her when she needed support or if they would come back and visit her in her old age.

 

            [I’m not saying women can’t work outside the home.  But what I am saying is that I don’t think it compares to the important work that is right under our own roofs.  And I wish that we understood that more, that society appreciated mothers more, and that we mothers delighted in our "motherhood" more and gave it the time and energy and respect and heart that it deserves. 
            There are only a few people on this whole earth who are going to really be there for us our whole lives, who are going to have our backs when the world is against us, who are going to lift us up when we fall, and who we are going to truly matter to. 
            Do we value them as much as we should? 
            We only have a short time when our children are under our roofs – a short time to build a safe, strong family and to build their character, self-esteem, outlook on life, and faith.  And I consider that to be the highest calling, the most blessed responsibility, an amazing privilege.] 

 

 

            Motherhood isn’t “prison chains.”  It’s a precious, precious crown.