I wrote this the other day as I thought about the effect staying home too long can have on your family. And then I ran it through a bunch of languages with Google Translate to see what happened. Here it is:
You know this “lockdown new normal” is starting to get to everyone when these things start happening:
1. You find yourself
singing “Another Cup of Rosy Tea” from The Wiggles while you’re showering … but
you’re 45 years old and your youngest child is 11 and you haven’t watched The
Wiggles in years. (Okay, except for that
one time a month ago when you looked up “Another Cup” online so you could show
your 11-year-old the song you’re singing and he complained about how stupid it was
while not being able to take his eyes off of it, like some horrible train
wreck.)
2. You find yourself
and your teenage sons all sitting there one day watching old Thomas the Tank
Engine DVD’s, and you like it and want more.
3. You have to
constantly tell your 14-year-old to stop ripping his older brother’s leg hair
off, but the older brother likes it because he’s challenged the younger one to
find the best method of ripping the most leg hair off as possible in one try.
4. Your boys decide
to have a “Lazy Off” contest of seeing who can be the laziest by getting off
the couch last. And you come back into
the room just as the older ones are blasting Pete’s Dragon songs, trying to irritate
the youngest one into running out of the room, thereby, losing the game if he
got off the couch.
Yeah, this “new normal” is getting a little old.
And this is the translated version [My comments about the translation will be in brackets and in blue]:
You know, this "old lock" reaches everyone when
the following things happen:
1. You notice that you are singing another glass of water,
which Wiggles means when you take a shower, but you are 45 years old and your
child is 11 years old, and you do not look like Wiggles a year ago. [So I didn't look like Wiggles a year ago? Does that mean I look like them now?] (Last month, a few years ago, I saw my teenager look at different "Internet glasses" and complain about something stupid they didn't understand. They left because of another car.)
2. If you've ever watched a DVD Tank Motor DVD movie with a teenager, you'll love this one. [I'm not sure what it is you'll love, but okay, whatever.]
3. Always tell your 14-year-old son not to cut off his
brother’s four legs [Heck, no! And four legs? Poor freak-show. But I'll love him anyway.], but to vote for his older brother because he opposes the
younger one. Find the best way to remove straight hair right away.
4. The children decided to play a "tolerant" game to find out who was better
in the back seat. [Not in my house, you don't!] And you go into the room again, just like Pete’s old song is blown
up, and try to remind the child to leave the room and throw out the toy if it falls.
Yes. This is a new "normal" old age. [If this is what old age looks like, what a disappointment.]
[Now go back and click on the song, and then we can sing it in the shower together. Well, separate showers, of course. That wasn't an offer or anything.]
[Now go back and click on the song, and then we can sing it in the shower together. Well, separate showers, of course. That wasn't an offer or anything.]
