I think I stumbled upon the perfect "If They Mated ..." scenario for who I look like and how I act. (You know, when they take pictures of two people and morph them into one to show what their offspring would look like if they mated.) I wasn't trying to figure this out or anything; it just came to me as I was watching The Hobbit recently. And once I saw it in my mind, I couldn't unsee it. Then after I thought about possibly sharing it with all of you, my mind won't let it go until I do. And so here it is, much to my chagrin ...
I kid you not, if you mixed these three characters - their looks and their personalities - you would totally have me.
Frankie Heck from The Middle (Someone once told me I looked like her, when I was a lot younger. Actually, it was when she was in Everybody Loves Raymond, but we're both a lot older now. And I was once told I looked like Winona Ryder. Ah, to be young again!)
Bard the Bowman, minus the facial hair, from The Hobbit
and ... hold on, it gets worse ... Gandalf the Gray (This is how I think I look in bright, harsh light, when the lines on my face look deeper and the silver in my hair shines more, washing out the dark hair. And once again, of course, I mean minus the facial hair. And I pray it stays that way. Hey, I'm at the age when you don't take this for granted, not when you find an inch-long, corkscrew-curly hair growing out the top of your ear one day. And go ahead and laugh now, young people ... your day is coming!)
I'm telling you, it's uncanny. And I'm certain that those who know me are laughing out loud right now, saying "Oh my goodness! It's so true! It's so true!" (And once they see it, they won't be able to unsee it either. And I apologize right now to my husband if it messes with his mind in any way.)
(I think my New Year's Resolution is going to be to take everything I can less seriously, starting with myself. And I just made that up right now, but I think it's a good one.)
So there you have it ... there you have me, in looks and personality: Frankie (her fumbling, well-meaning, doesn't-have-it-all-together-ness), Bard (his quiet, serious, stoic, just-do-what-needs-to-be-done-ness), and Gandalf (his reserved, wise, slightly smug, I-know-what-I'm-doing-but-maybe-not-ness). All rolled into one freakish mash-up. And now every time you see one of those characters, think fondly of me.
(You know, if life was truly fair, I'd look more like this. But oh well, life goes on. Gandalf's attractive too. I guess.)
Happy New Year! And may you have a blessed 2020!
