Conversations with a Calvinist

(From my other blogs, My Crazy Faith and Anti-Calvinist Rant.)

(meme link)

(meme link)

Getting Through the "Broken" Times (short version)

(This is the short version.  The long one is here.)

Practical Advice for Getting Through the Broken Times (in no particular order, reposted from a few years ago)

1.  Be gracious toward yourself!
            You make sense.  You are not a hopeless mess.  You are human.  And humans hurt.  Humans break sometimes.  And we all need compassion and grace and understanding and love and forgiveness – for ourselves and for others.  So do not feel abnormal, like there is something wrong with you.  We are all broken in some way.  (It’s just that some people don’t know it yet.)  None of us really knows what we are doing in life.  (Although some won’t admit it.)  We are all just trying to make it through as best we can.  So you are in good company – in the company of many other hurting, broken, clueless, weak, needy people.  The very kind of people that God holds closest.
            Psalm 34:18:  "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  

Getting Through the "Broken" Times (repost)

(This is the LONG version.  The short one is here.)

Practical Advice for Getting Through the Broken Times (in no particular order, reposted from a few years ago)

1.  Be gracious toward yourself!
            You make sense.  You are not a hopeless mess.  You are human.  And humans hurt.  Humans break sometimes.  And we all need compassion and grace and understanding and love and forgiveness – for ourselves and for others.  So do not feel abnormal, like there is something wrong with you.  We are all broken in some way.  (It’s just that some people don’t know it yet.)  None of us really knows what we are doing in life.  (Although some won’t admit it.)  We are all just trying to make it through as best we can.  So you are in good company – in the company of many other hurting, broken, clueless, weak, needy people.  The very kind of people that God holds closest.
            Psalm 34:18:  "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  

I So Needed This Today - "Strength In Your Struggles"

I desperately needed this sermon today: Tony Evans Speaks on Strength in Your Struggles.  Such a great one!  [Update: The link was broken, so go to his YouTube channel to find some good sermons.]

Last week sometime, I made a very deliberate effort to decide to not believe that everything goes wrong all the time, to have hope that things were going to be okay and that I'd make it through the crushing trials.  Generally, I wake up with a feeling of anxiety (and I have for over 3 years now), but that morning I had decided "No more!  I can't keep living like this.  I'm just going to trust that God's got it in His hands and that it's going to be okay.  I am just too tired to be anxious anymore."  And I felt rather relaxed for the day, in a way I hadn't in a long time.  And it felt good!

And then ...

Don't Call Them "Pets"!

Did you see this article about how disrespectful it is to call your animals "pets"?

Yeah, totally.  When I called my birds "pets," they wouldn't look at me for four days or even eat the food I gave them.  And when my neighbor called their dog a "pet," he bit them and then pooped on the floor to show how offended he was.  

But when we made a point to say "companion," my birds snuggled right up to me and then stretched their weak little heads out to accept a seed ... and the neighbor's dog cleaned up his own poop and did the dishes! 

What a difference one word makes!  And seriously, people, think of the animals' feelings!

Pastor Tony Evans' Tribute to His Wife, Lois

A Death Worth Dying - A Tribute to Lois Evans

2018 Peonies and Roses

It's been awhile since I've posted my pictures here.  I've been putting them on Glory In Beauty, but I'll start adding them here again too.

The Evans Family Discusses Faith and Loss

I have been feeling fragile lately.  Too many heartbreaks.  Too many losses.  Too many feelings of "Bad things always happen.  Where is the hope?  Where is the peace and joy?"  I wake up with anxiety in my stomach (and I have for years), and it takes time and lots of conscientious, biblical thought and prayer to subdue it.  And because of this mental and emotional overload, I have been unable to write much.  I know I need to write less for now, even to think less, and to instead just spend time in the Lord's presence and in the Word, being filled instead of trying to fill others.  (So bear with me as I repost things and share links to other people's writing.  I just can't write new stuff myself right now.)  I am working on wrestling my anxious mind, to take my thoughts captive (long-term, ingrained, negative thoughts and fears) and to replace them with God's Truth.  It's a slow process.  But I'm working on it.

Anyway, I don't know why I clicked on this video (The Evans Family Discusses Faith and Loss) today (the last thing I need is to hear about other tragedies and heartaches), but I was captivated by it, just listening to the family of my favorite preacher - Tony Evans - talk honestly about a tragic loss they experienced the night before and how they are getting through it, how they are clinging to their faith and trusting God in this time of heartache.  I cried with them.  I found comfort in their transparency.  And I found encouragement in their faith.

(Sadly, Tony Evans' wife just passed away December 2019.  Dr. Evans has had many losses close together.  And yet he keeps clinging to the Lord and praising God in the pain.  I was just saying the other day that if I could get a hug from anyone in the world besides my family, it would be him.  I would let him hug me and I would cry.  May the Lord bless this beautiful family for their faithfulness!)

No Masks Allowed!

           I’ve talked before about the need to get real with God.  But I think that we Christians also need to do better at being real with each other.  Why can’t we Christians just admit that we are broken, hurting people too, that we are sinful and need help? 

            Why do we act like we can do it all on our own and like we can handle everything with grace and style and a smile on our faces?  Why do we spend so much time and energy polishing up our outsides?  Is it to earn approval?  To make God happy and proud of us?  To impress others?  To feel better about ourselves?  To look better than others?

            Honestly, all we are doing is hurting everyone.  When we are not real, we miss out on a genuine relationship with God and others.  We don’t get the help and the healing we need.  We exhaust ourselves.  We keep others and God an arm’s length away, and then we feel alone.  

            And we make others feel like they are “less than”. . . because they struggle while we “have it all together.”  And this makes us “unsafe” - because people feel judged, condemned, and shamed in our perfectly-polished presence.  Why would they confide in us or seek our help when they feel like we couldn’t understand, like we are “above” them, like they have to feel ashamed of their brokenness and their struggles, like we expect them to be polished too?

            Why can’t we just be real about our heartaches, doubts, fears, shortcomings, weaknesses, and pain?  Why can’t we admit that we, too, are human?  Is it really a surprise to anyone that we are all human?  That none of us has it all together?  Why can’t we even admit that to ourselves?

            We cannot reach lost, hurting people if we set ourselves up above them and act like we don’t have struggles.  (And ultimately, we are not impressing anyone, especially God.) 

            I'll be honest, being a Christian doesn’t take away the pain and struggle.  It doesn’t necessarily make the journey easier.  (And sometimes it makes it harder.)  But it does give us some real help - Someone to walk this life with us and help us through it.  It gives us purpose and meaning and value.  It gives us stability and joy in something outside anything this unstable life has to offer.  It gives us an ultimate destination that brings real hope and makes the journey worth it.  It gives us life! 

            But we cannot reach broken people if we don’t show them our own brokenness, too. 

            We don’t help others by showing them how “perfect” people do it.

            We help them by showing them how real people - broken people - do it. 

            And we do this not by trying harder or doing more or polishing ourselves up nice and shiny.  But we do it by getting real, by falling down at the feet of Jesus and saying, “Help me, I can’t do it myself.  I need You. I am broken, too.” 

            No masks!  No phoniness!  No “holier than thou” pedestals!

            I don’t know about your Jesus, but my Jesus came to die for the lost and the hurting and the broken.  In fact, He came to be broken ... for us.  So He knows what it's like to hurt, to be let down, to struggle.  And since He's been in our place and He knows us better than anyone, He knows how to help us.  He picks us up when we are down.  He carries us when we are weak.  He meets us where we are - in the pain, the messiness, the brokenness.  He does not shame or condemn.  He does not ignore our cries for forgiveness, help, mercy, or grace.  He does not let us fall flat on our faces or kick us while we are down.  

            He loves us as we are, brokenness and all.

            We don’t need to put on a polished mask for my Jesus because He loved us enough to die for us, even when we were still messed-up sinners.  He knows that we are weak and in need of a Savior, so it doesn’t surprise Him that we can’t do it all on our own, that we struggle and hurt and fail at times. 

            In my Bible, my Jesus had no harsh words for the hurting and broken.  He only had harsh words for the religious snobs who thought they were better than everyone else and who thought they could do it all on their own, earning their way to heaven because of their good works and proper attitude and polished outsides.  The ones who thought that they had no need to fall down at His feet and admit their weakness, neediness, and brokenness. 

            The world is skeptical and untrusting of church as an institution, of religion as a merit system, as a ladder that we climb to reach heaven.  Well, so was Jesus.  He never joined the holy huddles.  He didn’t like the religious, hoity-toity, “we are better than you” snobs who looked down on “sinners.”  They did more harm than good.  They ruined His message of free grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness. 

            While He never went soft on sin or coddled sinners, He never looked down on the hurting and broken and those who knew that they were sinful and that they needed Him.  Instead, He looked down on those who elevated themselves too high and who thought they didn’t need Him.

            But He reaches out to the hurting and broken, to anyone who will take His hand, His help, His grace and mercy and love and forgiveness and healing. 

            His church isn’t an institution.  It’s people.  Hurting, broken, sinful, scared, weak, needy people.

            His religion isn’t a bunch of impossible standards and strict rules.  It’s “Believe in Me.  Trust Me.  Let Me love you and heal you.  And live accordingly, in humility and obedience.” 

            He’s not about condemnation and shaming and criticizing and judging.  He’s about grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. 

            That’s my Jesus.  And that’s why I choose Him.  It’s why I love Him. 

            We can take off the masks and be real with Jesus.  In fact, we have to take off the masks if we truly want to find forgiveness and healing and help.  And we need to take off the masks with each other, too, if we want to reach other hurting people and show them the love of our gracious, merciful, forgiving Savior.  A Savior who came to die for the broken and the hurting, when we were still sinners. 

            We don’t need to polish ourselves up before we can approach Him.  We just need to come to Him as we are, and then He’ll help us grow and change as we mature in our faith.  But don’t let your fear of being “not good enough” stop you from coming to Him.  He already knows none of us are "good enough."  That's why He didn't make it about being "good enough."  That's why He came and died, to be "good enough" for us.  And so instead of reaching for "perfect behavior," let's just reach for Him instead.  In humility.  In honesty.  In truth and thankfulness and neediness and love.  

He loves us and values us as much as He ever will, right now, as we are, simply because He made us and we are His!  No masks needed!  No masks allowed!

"But God shows his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  (Romans 5:8)

"... 'Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.' ... the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'"  (Romans 10:11-13)

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  (1 John 1:9)

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."  (Romans 8:1)

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  (Psalm 34:17-18)

"The sacrifices of God are a broken and contrite spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."  (Psalm 51:17)

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  (Hebrews 4:16)

And a few great songs:
"Lord, I Need You" by Matt Maher
"My Jesus" by Todd Agnew

"Better Than A Hallelujah" by Amy Grant
"Secret Ambition" by Michael W. Smith

(reposted from my other blog)     

                                                            

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas!

So, I'm just wondering, are anyone else's children playing the song "I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas" at unexpected, random times throughout the day for the past week, simply so that it gets stuck in your head and you can't stop singing it the rest of the day?

No?

I didn't think so.

(Go ahead and take the challenge: Listen to this song once and see if you don't sing it the rest of the day, too.  That little, warbly, chipmunk voice rattling around in your brain.  It's the "Baby Shark" of Christmas!  And yeah, I know, this is a cruel and inhumane challenge.  I'm sorry.  But if I've gotta suffer, I'm takin' you all down with me!)