Pause, breathe, smile

Please, allow me to vent and to listen to myself talk.  And come along, if you want, on a trip through my mind (I apologize in advance for how the messy it is😉.):

Are you exhausted?  I am.  I am sick and tired of all the craziness out there, all the chaos, fighting, hate, lies, fear-mongering, violence, increasing prices (for less product or services), natural disasters, wars, rumors of wars, AI this-and-that, Big Pharma, social deviance/immorality, efforts to force people to tolerate social deviance/immorality, political posturing and mudslinging and nonsense, etc.  

I'm done with it.  I just so done with it all.  "You can stop the world now, God.  We wanna get off."  

I am sick of both social media and the news - because everyone just wants to fight, scream their opinions, demand their way, calls names, make accusations, and force everyone else to agree with them and do things their way.  Everything's an "us vs them" thing, and "if you don't agree with 'us' then you're a bad bad person who shouldn't be here."  It's sick.  And everyone reacts to soundbites and snippets, instead of getting the whole story and wisely responding.  There are no attempts to understand, to really listen, to connect, to talk through things, to be tolerant of other opinions.  (Maybe younger people don't know this because they've been fed bad definitions, but tolerance used to be about respectfully agreeing to disagree with someone, allowing others to have different opinions, even ones you don't like or agree with.  But now - due to social brainwashing - it's about supporting, affirming, condoning everyone else's view, over and above your own... or else you're "intolerant.")  

Ah, yes, praise God for hell-bound vipers!

In a recent Reddit Reformed post, a Calvinist celebrates the birth and dedication of another wretched, depraved, hell-bound viper-in-a-diaper wonderful little innocent baby!

Of course, I myself believe that babies are wonderful little innocent blessings from God, and so I celebrate the birth of all babies and congratulate parents on baby dedications.

But I can... because I'm not a Calvinist.

Calvinists, however, hmm?  I know they truly love their children and praise God for them, feeling like they are (I hope) blessings and sweet little bundles of joy.  

But I wonder if Calvinist parents have ever read these quotes of Calvinists' own views and teachings about babies and young children.  (I've already shared many of these before, but a bunch are new.)

Because if they did, then maybe they wouldn't be so quick to view them as sweet little bundles of joy, but more like evil little bundles of depravity.  Maybe they wouldn't be so quick to praise the Lord for that "blessing," but instead they'd feel remorse that they brought more evil into the world, more wicked hell-bound God-haters.  

Congratulations on the births of all your children, Calvinst parents.  (But a word of caution: Watch your backs from now on, and sleep with one eye open.)

You know you're getting old when...

 

Anyone else? (Thank you, Nate...)

[If you don't want to read this really long post, hang in there because I'll eventually publish it as a series of smaller posts.]

Oh my goodness, does anybody else feel this song, too?

NF - Oh Lord

"What are y'all doing down there?  I don't know, Lord."

I don't know, Lord.

What a mess.

God help us.

God help me.

"Sometimes I look up to the sky and wonder, 'Do you see us down here, O Lord?'"

Turn it up even LOUDER!

You know those songs that you always have to play as loud as possible, and even louder if you could?

I've got some of those.  [To name only five, there's Numb from U2 and Chlorine, Downstairs, Choker, and Jumpsuit from Twenty One Pilots.  I'm addicted to Twenty One Pilots (musical geniuses)!  And so are my husband and sons.]  

And the only place I can play them as loud as I want is when I'm driving alone in the car.  That's MY time.  An introvert's dream vacation.  I can play my music as loud as I want and sing along... and there's no one to interrupt or complain.  (But I do worry that I might've butt-dialed someone and that they're listening to me sing loud and proud.)

And this reminds me: You parents know what we're supposed to do when kids complain about our music, right?

White horses and a cup of tea (part 3: my white horses)

[I'm working my way through this slowly.  Click here for part 1 and part 2 of this series.] 

First, here's The White Horse Parable again (my version):

A man and his son owned a field that they farmed for a living.  And one day, they found a white horse in the field.

"Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer.  "A free horse."

But then the horse started tearing up their plants.  

"Oh, this is terrible.  What a curse!" cried the farmer.  

But then they caught the horse and tamed it and were able to use it to farm the field.

"Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer.

But then the son was thrown off the horse, broke both arms, and couldn't farm for months, reducing their sales and income.

"Oh, what a curse," said the farmer. "I wish this horse never came to us.  Why, God?  Why!?!"

But then a war started, and the army issued a draft.  But because the son had broken arms, he was excused from the draft and didn't have to fight in the war.

"Oh, what a blessing!" praised the farmer.

Another one bites the dust

[Happy Easter, y'all!]

I just found this (sad!) on Reddit Reformed: What happened to my conviction and love for God?

Reformedhabeshagirl said:

Hello brothers and sisters

I have always been a Christian and grew up fearing the Lord. I remember being convicted about my sins as young as 7 or 8 years old. I became Reformed around age 17 and I am 23 now. I have always been a repentant believer. My heart used to break when I sinned, and I love the Lord. I studied my Bible a lot, prayed often, and was very interested in theology, sermons, and everything related to faith.

The problem is that my heart has lost all desire for the things I used to love. I stopped listening to sermons and I don’t want to study my Bible anymore. Any interest I had in Bible study or discussions about the Lord only came when my ex-boyfriend shared things with me every day or when it came from my pastor every Sunday. Now my heart feels hard. I am not convicted about the things I used to mourn over.

I distanced myself from my amazing best friend and mentor who helped me grow so much in my faith and in my understanding of sin. I broke up with my boyfriend, and now I don’t even feel anything about it. I know he would be the best husband in the world and that I’m missing out, but I’m still not sad about it.

I’m not sad about not praying or studying the Bible anymore. I’m not interested in anything at all.  I feel numb and emotionless.

I’m starting to think that maybe I was never saved, since I firmly believe that salvation cannot be lost. But if I was never saved, why did I feel all those convictions before? Now I don’t care about any of it. I want to care again. I want to miss the Lord like I used to, but I have no interest at all.

Am I lost?

Hardest Spiritual Lesson #9: Humility and Brokenness

The last of the "Hardest Spiritual Lessons" posts: 

Humility and Brokenness

White horses and a cup of tea (part 2: A theme)

(picking up where we left off in part 1...)

And that brings us to this year.  This year I wasn't going to make any New Year's resolutions.  I was like "meh, who cares?"

But then, two things grew naturally in my mind, goals for this year.  (The first one will take several posts, and then I'll share the second one after that.)

(Plus, I think I'll keep trying the "talk less, listen more" resolution, too.  I could always use more of that.  And I think I'll add "try to stop speaking negative things."  That won't be easy.  I do far too much of that.):

A Theme: 

This is going to be my "white horse" year.  

"What's a 'white horse'?" you ask.  

Well, I'm glad you asked.  I'll tell you.  

Another great sermon: What if love meant more than you thought?

Before I get to part 2 of "White Horses and a cup of tea," here's another great sermon from Willow Creek (they're on a roll): 

What If Love Meant More Than You Thought?

A sermon like this is especially needed in this "outrage culture" where people spend their days looking for things to be angry about, for people to lash out at.  Ugh.

But there's a better way.  It doesn't have to be like this.  We don't have to let the news and social media lure us into an ever-increasing spiral of hopelessness and discouragement, antagonizing us into hating life and everyone around us.

White horses and a cup of tea (part 1)

I generally don't make New Year's Resolutions.  I mean I do sometimes, but I don't really see the point because they never last.  It's often more fun making the resolution than keeping the resolution, isn't it?  And so what started out as a grand idea on January 1st becomes a grand flop by January 31st.  We can waste more time planning and daydreaming about our resolutions than actually doing them, am I right?😁  

(Besides, if it's important enough, we'll do whatever it is when we're motivated enough to do it, regardless of the time of year.)  

And so instead of any grand resolutions these past several years, I've been trying to think of more light-hearted things to "resolve" to do throughout the year, relaxing things.  

Who says resolutions have to be lofty or serious anyway?

Such as these resolutions from the past several years:

A great sermon to start 2026

I watched this online Willow Creek sermon yesterday from a new series called The Jesus Way, about the Sermon on the Mount... and I just gotta share it because I haven't heard a sermon this good in awhile.  In fact, it's one of the best I've heard in a long time.  A great way to start 2026!  

Maybe it just said what I needed to hear at this point in my life.  Maybe it won't speak to you the same way.  But, who knows, maybe it will.  Give it a try.  What've you got to lose?  

I am Little Drummer Boy

Merry Christmas late.  And Happy New Year early.

I've shared this before but I'll share it again:

My all-time favorite classic Christmas song has got to be the Little Drummer Boy.   If I’m listening to this song and start to think too much about it, I start to well up with tears.  Every time.

My sons occasionally ask me why this is my favorite Christmas song.  

“It’s stupid and it doesn’t make sense,” they say.

Hardest Spiritual Lesson #8: Matthew 6:33

The second to last "hardest lesson" that many of us will face on our spiritual journeys (though there's more I haven't covered, so these are just a few):

Seeking God’s Kingdom and Righteousness

(This will be a long one because there is much to say about it.  And I am drawing in a lot that I wrote in other posts because I think it is all worth repeating again and again.)

Matthew 6:33: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

We all know that we are supposed to be seeking righteousness and God’s Kingdom.  But are we actually doing it?  And do we really even know what that means? 

The reason I ask is because our country is getting so lukewarm and relativistic about spiritual things.  Whole denominations are drifting away from Biblical Christianity and becoming social clubs where the speakers tickle the ears of the congregation and make them feel warm and cozy and comfortable.  

But that is so not what Jesus did or what the Bible is about. 

Hardest Spiritual Lesson #7: Accepting Love and Forgiveness

 Another lesson that's really hard for many of us: Letting Yourself Be Loved or Forgiven (note: there's a bonus section at the end of this post).

Not everyone will face this lesson, but those with broken pasts will know what I’m talking about.  One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in my spiritual life (and in my earthly life) is to let myself be loved by someone ... by Someone. 

I come from a very dysfunctional home.  Three dads by the time I was 8.  And then another dad (after a very messy divorce) when I was in my late-20's/early-30’s.  I didn’t grow up with my bio-dad or his family.  I didn’t even really meet them until my teens.  And then after that, I’d see them about once or twice a year, sometimes less.  I never really felt like I belonged to a dad or had a place in my extended families (or that my mom was an emotionally-safe person, so I never went to her for encouragement or leaned on her for emotional support - EVER!).  

And this feeling carried over to my relationship with God.

Hardest Spiritual Lessons #6: Accepting God's Timing

 Learning to be okay with God’s Time and God’s Way

A.k.a.: Learning to Trust

(Somewhat of a continuation of #5: Just do your job)

1 Peter 5:6-7: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you.”

In due time!  Such a scary thought for us.  Such a hard thing to accept and to wait for.  How hard it is to humbly submit our lives to the Lord’s timing and way.  But if we want to have the kind of life He wants for us, then we have to learn to humble ourselves before Him and to wait for Him to lift us up - in His time and in His way.

But we're too anxious for that, aren't we?  Too hasty?  Too self-focused?  We want what we want when we want it.  We have our own ideas of how and when things should happen.  We have dreams we want to fulfill, plans we want to succeed, goals we want to achieve, and prayers we want to be answered... NOW!  And yet sometimes, time goes on and things aren't working out the way we hoped or expected, and so we pray some more, but nothing happens, which makes us more discouraged and leaves us wondering if God is even listening.  Or maybe there's something wrong with us and our faith?  

Juni Desiree's beautiful art and heart

 This is a section from a future post, which shows this painting I once did:

This was my favorite one, the first one I ever painted like this.  (I like it, but no one else has to.  I just paint for fun, not for quality.)    

And it graced my wall for a few years... until I gave it away to a dear online friend from Australia, Juni Desiree (we met online in the comment section of a blog she used to have).  It was the only way to say "thank you" for something amazing she did for me: dedicating to me a book she published of pictures she drew about her mental health journey.  

Here's a YouTube video on it: The Art of Mental Health: Book Launch!!!! (at 5:04 you can see the "Dedication: For Heather" page"😊), and here's where you can buy it: The Art of Mental Health Ebook - Etsy Australia.  

Hardest Spiritual Lesson #5: Just do your job

Finally, another "hardest spiritual lesson."  And the rest are coming up over the next several posts.

Obediently Doing Your Job and Letting God Do His

Okay now, be honest and raise your hand if you like to lead instead of follow?  To push through with your plans and make things happen?  To set your own rules and goals?  To follow your dreams?  To stand in the spotlight? 

Our world values go-getters and leaders - people who succeed, who make the impossible possible, who dream big dreams and make them come true.  It doesn’t put much value on people who shine the spotlight on someone else, who spend their lives in service to someone else, who work quietly in the background, or who follow and obey what someone else tells them to do.  It doesn’t respect submission, obedience, and following, not nearly as much as it does autonomy, self-reliance, and leading.  

And so the world can’t really understand or value Christians who live for the Lord.  

But God does.

A Calvinist pastor's 9-11 sermons (vs. C.S. Lewis)

In "honor" of the anniversary of 9-11, I thought I'd share on my blogs some quotes from my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons about 9-11 or around the anniversary of 9-11.  

I'm so sorry to share these.  Please don't read them if you were greatly hurt by 9-11, or any other tragedy.  (And speaking of tragedy: It's absolutely horrible and heartbreaking that Charlie Kirk was assassinated.  It's just so senseless.  It's not like he was a powerful political leader who made laws or rules that people didn't like or that affected their families or anything like that.  He was just a normal guy who debated views and shared his opinions - opinions that some people didn't like.  And for that someone killed him!?!  Something isn't right here.  May God expose what it is, and bring about justice, and protect and care for his family.  My heart goes out to them!  Heartbreaking!)  

But these 9-11 sermons are great examples of how hyper-focused Calvinists can be on God's "sovereignty," to the point that they can't even hear how heartless and tone-deaf (and unbiblical!) they sound about a horrible tragedy that destroyed many people and families and that greatly wounded our country.  (And I admit that it's sickening timing to share these sermons right after Charlie was killed, because these Calvinist sermons are all about God ordaining all evils and tragedies.  Ugh.😔)  

Calvinists can't even comprehend - or don't care about - the damage they might be doing to someone's faith in God.  All they can think about is that they are supposedly glorifying God by singing the praises of His "sovereign control" and encouraging others to do the same, regardless of the tragedy that happened.  (And they wonder why Calvinism makes people sick!)

My goal here is not to sling mud or to break people's hearts or shake people's faith, but it's to expose Calvinism for the anti-gospel, anti-truth, anti-God theology that it is.  My goal is to wake people up and, yes, to be divisive - to do what I can to cut out a cancer that's invaded the church and is slowly killing it.  Calvinism has hijacked our churches for far too long, and it needs to be stopped.  But it can't be stopped if we keep ignoring it or politely tolerating it.  And so I keep writing and sharing these things.  [God, help us!  What a mess the Church has become!]

[My comments are in brackets, black, and italics.]  

Late Summer for Gardeners

I haven't been able to get around to publishing any real posts lately because I've been so busy with other things... and right now, it's been shredding and freezing zucchini (or making zucchini bread and zucchini fritters) and canning homemade pickles and tomato sauce and crushed tomatoes and pickled peppers... and then busy cleaning up all the zucchini-pickle-tomato-pepper messes all over the kitchen... not to mention, giving away bags of fresh cucumbers and green beans because we're getting too many and can't possibly eat them all (I find it crazy that three of my kids hate fresh green beans - where'd I go wrong?😕)... and then doing it all over again just a little while later.

It's been like the movie Groundhog Day, endlessly repeating the same day over and over again, except with vegetables!

And so, just for fun - and because I can't get around to writing real posts - here's something that all you gardeners out there might enjoy right about now.  I feel this one: